‘Look, I say to Mrs Duncan Smith,
‘…another attack on the poor in order to create a stronger economy best able to ensure we can look after our most needy.
‘That’s your job, Iain, she accurately points out whilst expertly slicing the top off of my 2minute 48 second boiled egg – timing is all to a military man.
‘It’s a travesty what Gideon is doing! I say looking for my favourite eggy-weggy spoon and wondering if my use of the word ‘travesty’ is correct.
‘Perhaps… says Betsy,
‘…he’s trying to show you up.
‘Really? What makes you think that, darling?
‘Well, he’s incentivising the cripples and half-wits to throw away their crutches and beg, whilst making sure marginalised groups such as ourselves wont be dis-incentivised, I mean Corporation Tax, Capital Gains Tax and Higher Rate Income Tax, who pays these?
‘By Golly, you’re right, Betsy and I won’t stand for it!
So while Besty cuts my toast into soldiers I prepare a resignation letter to Mr Cameron and phone the BBC to book my slot with Andrew Marr where I will demonstrate my outrage and care for society.
Nihal Stic’s photo.